Perhaps the word "adjustments" will make me less apprehensive about what they really are... CHANGES. No one really likes change, especially when that change goes against the very fiber of their being. But then, the only thing constant in life is change, is it not?
Surrounding me, a 30+ year marriage dissolves, a 7 year relationship destroyed, and individuals cheating left and right. I don't even want to mention it, but suppose I must - people lying to deceive and perhaps unintentionally but destroying lives - Catfish. I think the show in itself is most likely fake, but I know that it happens all the time unfortunately. How then do quiet individuals who don't want to meet people in clubs, meet other people?
For instance, a single gal such as myself, I don't go to nightclubs or party because I don't think that's where I will find quality individuals to share my life with, and I have seen nothing to the contrary. I am entering the workforce in a woman dominated career and understand that my chances of meeting a potentially partner in the workplace is rather unlikely. Most of my friends are not dating quality individuals or are dating individuals with whom I am not finding in line with the goals I have set for myself. It's not like any of them have brothers or friends of their significant others who they could even set me up with for a date. Online dating seems a plausible option since it may be the only way to meet potential suitors with whom I could hopefully share my life, goals, and passions.
Another example. After being "off the market" and "out of the game" for 7 years, how does one approach dating in 2013? As a quiet individual, one who was surrounded herself with only a few school friends, her family, and her boyfriend - how do you go about seeking a new partner? While I understand the break up is fresh and new, it will become an issue, and one that as a friend, I am unsure of how to advise on the subject overall.
After a marriage dissolves, one in which the children are grown and the paperwork should hopefully be simple, does one even approach dating again? Are older folks destined to spend their old age alone when a spouse decides they want out of marriage?
While life changes and adjustments can be difficult, how do you approach them?
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Procrastination.
School is incredibly challenging this semester. While it may be that I am not physically in class as often, I find that the amount of work has increased to a point where I am constantly busy. Or at least, I should be doing something and manage to find myself doing something not relating to school. Because isn't that just the way procrastination goes? We all do it. Don't even try to deny it.
We all have that one activity or chore or something that we'd rather not do, and so we distract ourselves with other activities until nothing else is left but that original task, at which point, we suck it up and just get it done. I am finding that I am allowing myself to get behind on tasks and leaving this until the deadlines, because of anxiety and fear. I think I am genuinely afraid of graduation and the things that come along with it these days. I may just be afraid of growing up. Of being an adult and having a grown up job, and yet, that's all. Still living at home, dealing with drama from my family, and not having a life of my own.
Perhaps I am to blame. Perhaps school is not the only aspect of my life I have procrastinated upon in retrospect. I find that my adult life is something that perhaps I have also put on hold. I haven't had any serious relationships with quality individuals. I haven't developed the friendships and bonds that many others have, and the few friendships I have, I haven't nurtured in the way that I should to strengthen the bonds between us.
I haven't saved money in an attempt to assert my independence so I can live on my own and pay my own expenses and bills. I haven't held down a serious job, and none for more than a year and feel like this is a deterrent in my life. I am beginning to think I have set up road blocks in my own life, and I am unsure about how to take them down myself.
I have been applying for jobs and have been unsuccessful in my attempts to secure anything, not even an interview or a call regarding the position. I seem to only receive rejections via email and find it discouraging overall. I wonder if there is something I have done or have not done, and if there is anything that I can do to change my circumstance, but sadly, recruiters are not forth coming with information on how to improve on my resume and my situation, especially with such a lack of feedback.
Am I destined to be a victim of my own procrastination forever? Are there any tips or ideas that you have learned in your life on how to change your outlook and how others view you?
We all have that one activity or chore or something that we'd rather not do, and so we distract ourselves with other activities until nothing else is left but that original task, at which point, we suck it up and just get it done. I am finding that I am allowing myself to get behind on tasks and leaving this until the deadlines, because of anxiety and fear. I think I am genuinely afraid of graduation and the things that come along with it these days. I may just be afraid of growing up. Of being an adult and having a grown up job, and yet, that's all. Still living at home, dealing with drama from my family, and not having a life of my own.
Perhaps I am to blame. Perhaps school is not the only aspect of my life I have procrastinated upon in retrospect. I find that my adult life is something that perhaps I have also put on hold. I haven't had any serious relationships with quality individuals. I haven't developed the friendships and bonds that many others have, and the few friendships I have, I haven't nurtured in the way that I should to strengthen the bonds between us.
I haven't saved money in an attempt to assert my independence so I can live on my own and pay my own expenses and bills. I haven't held down a serious job, and none for more than a year and feel like this is a deterrent in my life. I am beginning to think I have set up road blocks in my own life, and I am unsure about how to take them down myself.
I have been applying for jobs and have been unsuccessful in my attempts to secure anything, not even an interview or a call regarding the position. I seem to only receive rejections via email and find it discouraging overall. I wonder if there is something I have done or have not done, and if there is anything that I can do to change my circumstance, but sadly, recruiters are not forth coming with information on how to improve on my resume and my situation, especially with such a lack of feedback.
Am I destined to be a victim of my own procrastination forever? Are there any tips or ideas that you have learned in your life on how to change your outlook and how others view you?
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